The roots grow forevermore ~

Hmm, I'm awake now at 2.30 in the morning with nothing much to do. Thus I have decided to blog.

I wish for the future to come. Recently I have just seen an anime which was introduced by a friend of mine. The name of it is Sword Art Online and honestly, I really like this anime. The anime starts off as a new video game being sold but this one is a VMMORPG which is a role-playing game but the person actually goes into the game. The problem arises when players are unable to log out of the game and when they lose all their hit points in the game, they actually die in real life too. This is not really an altogether new genre of anime being shown but the storyline of this story is really good and they play with emotions really well. It has many morbid endings which usually end up in people being killed but it also shows human's inner personality. Usually these feelings of humans are always kept in the heart but when given the chance emerge as terrible as a monster and will wreck havoc around others. This anime also hows to appreciate life in all forms whether its in the game, or in real life as well. The point where people are able to go into games and be the characters themselves, that is the dream of many gamers. Thus, I wish for the future.

Reel me in if you dare,

I will dance away lightly,

Enclose in a cage,

I return with a vengeance,

~End~

Forgive me for being tardy.

The last entree for my blog:

Tranquil is the open sky,

Fragrant is the scent of petals,

Beautiful, the stars lit from high,

Hiding the signs of incoming battles.

To be given the chance of writing this blog/journal was not a first time as I was called to do so when I was much much younger. Obviously my younger self had not taken the trouble to do so and thus I've forgotten many of my past memories. With this compilation, I can always look back at my last year of school knowing what have I been through whether it is the pain, or the happiness. Maybe the poems that I write may not seem much to any passerby, but each of them mean something significant to me. Its a way of me expressing how I feel and I think that it will remind me of what I felt during that point of time in my life. So, I wish to take this chance to thank my English teacher, Pn Monica for giving me the chance again to write something like this.

I notice that some of my classmates write about what they think of others on their last entree but I will not continue in that similar fashion. If you still want my opinion on you, come and ask me and I'll tell it to you straight ^_^. Anyways, to begin with, my year has many ups and downs and if you notice the latest posts, the depression is steadily increasing. I like any other human being has problems to bear but somehow, I have been feeling really fake nowadays. It feels like everywhere and anywhere I go aside from bathing and sleeping, I wear a mask so thick that it is impossible to peel off. My sense of direction in life is off course, and I just feel dead nearly every day. What I hope to achieve with my constant ranting of mine is to maybe shoulder my burden off if only for a few moments or so.

The time now to be depressed is far from being the best as my exams draw nearer every passing second. Somehow, my will is being slowly destroyed. I am lost, trapped in my own world. I keep thinking to myself, what do I really want in life, and somehow, I have yet to find the answer. Maybe this is that people call, an identity crisis. I really really hope that I find my true calling really, really soon, for fear of me going mad. This lost sense of direction is slowly eating away at my identity and someday I fear I will just be a husk of my former self devoid of any feeling. I pray that I can find my answer as soon as possible. God Help Me.

My prayer as thus:

I confess,

My life is a mess,

God please save me,

And make me,

The man you meant me to be.

6th ~ 12th August

Burn, rot, decay,

Tongue of mine say,

Death doom despair,

In life's gloom share.

This week, there was a number of events which I was present in. To begin with, this is my last week being a student in a school's Taekwando class. Admittedly, I have rarely been to class ever since Form 2 which was the year I singed up for Taekwando but, this year, I had successfully attended all but one of the Taekwando classes. Truthfully, it was fun and enjoyable so I questioned myself, why did I not commit to this when I was Form 2. The closest answer I could get was that I had no friends who go Taekwando during Form 2 till 4 and usually after the first few lessons or so I would stop. This year however, I met friends in Taekwando which really helped me love this club. The instructors, and my friends there were a friendly bunch and I wish that these memories remain.

Besides that, it was also the last week of CF 2012 and the last time I attended CF as a student again. Following my old trend, I used to skip CF when I was Form 2 and 3 but since Form 4, I made a huge improvement in my attendance to CF and again I made many more new friends along the way.

Lastly, on Saturday, it was a really busy day for me. I went out on a trip with my church's cell group to Bukit Cahaya which the whole journey there and back was from 7a.m. till 3.p.m. It was a fun time we had playing our cell group's usual games and walking in the huge area till we were exhausted. Afterwards, we headed to Citta Mall for lunch before returning to our homes. Continuing on, my day did not end there as I attended Wei Fai's birthday party from 5.30a.m. up till 11.15p.m. I had a great time there playing with water balloons and water in general having the feeling of being young again as we energetically splashed anyone in nearby vicinity.

Trudge, break, fall,

Hear the fire's call,

Destroy, vanquish,

On Death's silver dish.

23rd July ~ 5th August

I remember not what I have done,

Memory done and gone,

All the cries, fears, and fun,

And damn my needed mourn.

My heart beats like a candle's wick

When the wind blows,

Out goes the stick,

And the whisper of the fading glow.

Death has come for a friend of mine,

Embracing him as he did with others,

Holy is the land he goes, so divine,

May he be with the souls of our forefathers.

Cry my friend for love has forsaken,

The wails of the damned, piecing the wind,

The scars on the heart, bonds be broken,

The lost of hope, a deadly fiend. 

The tunnel filled with darkness,

The end nowhere in sight,

And death willing, embraces,

Till when, thy shining light?

16th ~ 22nd July

Grotesque it may be.

The roar of the thunder

The maw cracked asunder,

The lightning born of fire,

The warning that heeds dire.

This week, many things happened. For a first, I walked in the pouring rain again on Monday which was probably the heaviest rain I walked in yet. As if it couldn't be any worse, more than one car splashed jets of water showering me and further drenching me. It was a wonder that somehow I did not fall sick at all eventhough for the next two and a half hours I was in an air-conditioned room.

Besides that, Hari Kerjaya was held this week for the Form 5 students. Even though I had gone through this two times before in the past two years, the Form 5 experience was different as we had talks from the people of different colleges. I am truly grateful for the people who have procured this event just for the Form 5 students and I can only imagine how much work had to be done in order to accomplish this huge event. It was probably no mean feat gathering so many colleges from all around and asking them to come over to DJ to give talks and to advertise their each colleges. With this year's  Hari Kerjaya, I believe I know what I want to do or go in the future even more so that what I think I did in the past.

The last event that happened this week was that i had a celebratory lunch at Umai-ya in Damansara Utama. It was to celebrate our victory in the Law Olympiad 2012 and also to celebrate Pei Ming's birthday. 10 of us showed up at this particular restaurant which a reservation was made sometime this week. We payed for a Japanese buffet restaurant which meant that we could order as much sushi, meat or whatever tickled our fancy whenever we liked to. The payment was pretty expensive though the damage it did to my wallet will be reduced from the prize money that I will receive from the Olympiad thing. After the heavy lunch, 8 of us headed to One Utama courtesy of Pei Ming's parents who kindly provided the transport we needed. There we watched Batman and it was pretty good I think because seeing as I have never watched any of the previous Batman shows, it was a little bit confusing for me especially at the start. Anyways, once the introductions and the plot settled I could pretty much get the gist of the movie.

The stars transcend their beauty,

The moon wafts overhead,

Once it is in the gully,

It shall finally be pronounced dead.

9th ~ 15th July

The reason is.

The enigma which surround,

The void of the empty ground,

Lasting an appearance so blight,

Revealing the most ugly sight.

This week, though there was Sports Day, it was a pretty relaxing week for me. I think this is because I have skipped two days of school and Friday there wasn't much studying going on anyways. In Sports Day, I was reminded again never to take off my shoes when running on the track that is, if I ever get the chance to run again next time. My race was a relay race of 100m and sadly my team got 4th which didn't qualify for the medal. Anyhow, my feet were hurting badly because not only was the ground rough, but the wet rain just somehow increased the pain. After Sports Day, I walked home as usual and stopping by the newly constructed Paradigm Mall for lunch and to wait for the rain to stop.   The mall was okay I guess because I did not really explore it fully as I just ate lunch and continued home.

Other than that, on Sunday, I watched Spiderman and the movie was pretty exciting filled with action but a little bit predictable. I watched this movie with Wei Fai, Adam and Adam's friend which I don't remember his name. Anyways after the movie, Wei Fai's parents drove me to The Club nearby which had many different facilities all for the purpose of exercising or relaxation. I first went to play badminton for a good hour or so then I visited the gym which was filled with confusing gadgets which I have no knowledge how to use at all because it was my first time in a gym. Luckily, the machines were all user-friendly and I was able to figure out how to operate most of the machines there.

The fall, the crawl,

Of an insect so dull,

The flight, the speed,

Of the noblest steed.

2nd ~ 8th July

The flowing river carries me.

All shalt be torn asunder,

If thou shalt surrender,

Lift up thy head and smile,

Fill this world with laughter.

This week, things were abuzz, you can see students in school rushing about, going on their own individual business whether it is choir, cheer, marching or some other stuff. For me, it was running on Tuesday which we had 'saringan'. Needless to say, I did not do really well but still, the memory of running for my house since Form 1 till now has been a memorable experience for me. I still have to run for the following week's Sport's Day and I really hope to get a position this time since its a relay race.

Other than that, our school this week carried out the annual 'Library Week'. The theme for this year was about traditional games which people used to play long time ago. Some of these games have either died out or evolved to fit this current era. It was a learning experience for me and I really appreciate the amount of work the librarians did by fulfilling their duties and catering to students of every class as well as setting up this event.

Besides that, I attended the Law Olympiad 2012 in HELP. I was actually just a substitute for someone else because she had to pull out for reasons of her own. Anyways, it was a great experience and somehow, my team managed to get first place out of the twenty teams, including us, who entered this competition. We basically wrote answers to the questions they gave us. There was four games which we played. The first game was about aliens which ruled earth and decided to take five human rights away from us and participants had to choose which five rights, out of ten choices, to give up. The next game is playing detective which participants were required to identify the guilty person and provide reasons as well. The third game was general knowledge from quotes, places, science, maths, and idioms. The last game was playing judge which we had to be a judge give the call whether who is in the right or wrong and provide reasons. After the games, they acted out for us a mock trial where we got to see how is a trial actually carried out.

Fault of mine,

Break the shrine,

Bestow upon me,

And let me see.

25th ~ 1st July

The crevasse.......

Greater, greater,

I have to be,

Larger, larger,

I have to grow.

This week started off with my birthday on Monday which I sorta celebrated by spending the whole day at Tropicana City Mall and spent the night in tuition and a Japanese dinner in Damansara Jaya with my friends Wee Han and Brandon. I watched the movie Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter which was a great movie full of the supernatural, action and a little bit of horror.

Besides that, it was open day in school on Friday which went pretty alright I guess considering my teacher had no complaints against me except that my BM results are really bad compared to my other subjects which isn't really a complaint and honestly BM is the one pulling me down.

On Sunday, I had the first time of eating shark meat which I find the taste nearly the same as a normal fish. The only difference I could find was the skin which was a little more sticky i guess than the normal fish.

Tear apart the rifts,

That bind me always,

Allow me freedom,

To search the sky.

Discrimination Lives Within Everyone

Discrimination Lives Within Everyone

Discriminate. A word so endearing where people strive to keep it out even till today but to no avail. Wars fought, lives lost, hearts crushed are one of the many reasons why great people try to unite citizens to prevent discrimination. In doing this, they hope for peace and prosperity throughout the world but the roots of the past which holds people's hearts are too deep to destroy. Discrimination lives in everyone. It is sadly not a plain statement but a fact which has proven to be true time and time again.


One of the many ways people discriminate is most popularly and evidently is skin colour. This is apparent everywhere whether in school, work or in society. Such as in school whereby most of the Chinese students usually hang around each other and so the same can be said for the other races as well. Only a few rare cases where a person of different skin colour actually is accepted to the group and even so not all of them are willing in the first place. In work, people who have dark skin colour usually have a harder time finding jobs because everyone assumes that the person is unable to be trusted just from the assumption that he is black. 


Besides that, people also discriminate in the form of friendship and family. Sometimes, this trait is easily seen when a less capable person in picked for the job when there exists a more capable individual who is willing to do it. This also happens in many places besides the work industry such as like in school, during sports especially when students get to pick who is in their team to go for competitions outside school. The captain will most probably be more inclined to pick his friends or siblings rather than to pick the newcomers who are actually good as well.


Other than that, people have been discriminated due to family ties. For example, people who are from a higher standing family are usually overestimated and those from a lower standing family are sometimes underestimated. Each and everyone has their own special potential and just because of family, people will look down upon you. This is sometime also double-edged sword because if the child of a higher standing family does something horrible, his whole family are thought to be bad as well which is sometimes the case but not always.


Furthermore, people are also discriminated in the form of religion. For example, all Islamic people are thought to be terrorists at some point of time in history due to some of them who became suicide bombers yet all Islams have suffered discrimination from other people. As usual, this is like when a rat is cornered, they will bite back and as such, some Islams who hated the discrimination did became terrorists and it just strengthens the belief of other people. This has led to wars and much blood was shed due to this belief. 


In conclusion, discrimination I feel has a grip too strong for mere words and current acts of people to break free from. It is a darkness that will forever seep in the hearts of mankind whether young or old. The only hope for salvation I believe is to raise children of all different races in a different world where the history of mankind will not be able to spill there and corrupt their young and loving minds.

11th ~ 17th June

This week is pretty interesting for a school week.

Life's not a knife,

Pain is not shame,

To serve is to love.

To start off, exam results, wasn't too bad as I expected though not stellar at all. I sometimes wonder whether when I sit for the exam paper whether I was half asleep or not because of the many mistakes I guess. But I feel that what has passed has passed and looking back too much will hinder your progress forwards so I've decided to expel the spirit of downheartedness leave me.

Besides that, I have finally met my cousin which I have not seen for more than a year. Reason is because he was always away for work overseas such as in China and Singapore and doesn't come back even during Chinese New Year. He will be leaving again soon and I will probably not see him again for a long while. His work is all about 3D stuff and he has been showing me pictures of 3D stuff such as 3D in phones, in laptops, and even in his games where he 3D-nized it. I was really close to him when I was much younger about when I was four or five years old, when he was still in school, in SMKDJ. he was the one who brought me into the gaming world and taught me how to play various games when I was younger.

Following on before, I met him at my uncle's birthday party at One Utama on Thursday night. Because my uncle loves singing, he celebrated it at the karaoke area known as Neway which also had a buffet. The food was great and there was even a free sushi bar where I could take sushi as many times as I liked. This was probably a big mistake on my part because on the following day, I had food poisoning and went to toilet five times before the day ended.

Another interesting thing that happened is that my cat has finally become a worthy ninja. His prowess has reached the pinnacle where no one can detect him when all of a sudden, he strikes! Is what I want to say because I am currently bearing three long scars due to his attacks on me. All three times I was caught off guard and my skin was sliced open and rivulets of blood pooled at the wound. Ominous as it may sound, the wounds were not so deep as to be life threatening and I hope that it is not infected.

Days on end,

Wounds to rend,

Years passing by,

Eyes will cry.

4th ~ 10th June

Tired is one thing. Moving onwards is another.

Weariness eats at my bones,

I trudge onwards ignoring their pleas,

I will reach the end of the cone,

To break free of this lease.

This week was more productive and outgoing compared to the last week. As I was hiding from the sun the last week, I decided to go out more this week. As a first, I went to watch Men In Black 3 or MIB3 for short. It was an action/adventure/comedy movie with a great plot and some twists inside it. I watched this movie together with my cousins from Puchong and they were going to stay over right up till Sunday because their parents were overseas. 

Besides that, I have beaten my record in the furthest I have walked. There was an CF outing at the park in Taman Tun Dr. Ismail at eight in the morning. I woke up at six to prepare for the long journey ahead. Sure enough me, my cousin and Brandon walked there from the Kelana Jaya LRT station and it took us about an estimated time of one hour and fifteen minutes which was twenty minutes earlier than was estimated by Google Map. It was an astonishing fact that we were early. At the park, we played games which made us walk over and over again which tired me out even further. As this was only half of the day, I walked to Tropicana City Mall together with Brandon, my cousin and additionally, Hoe Ming to watch Prometheus.

About the movie, it had awesome effects but it was pretty disturbing as well as disgusting which caught our group my surprise as what we thought it was a science fiction adventure to a science fiction horror movie. We desperately tried to cover our eyes and ears at the grisly parts of the movie eventhough we were unsuccessful.

On Saturday, I went out to my first anime convention at PWTC. It was a great experience for me as I didn't know that people could be so fired up for these kind of things. I was proven wrong when scores of people arrived in their costumes looking awesome and stuff. I took the LRT there together with Yong Teng and Tao Juen. All in all, this was much what I did during the second and last week of holidays.

Long for the sky,

Aim for the stars,

Reach for the Heavens,

Grasp that victory.

28th ~ 3rd June

The pulse of life so desperately needed,

The fallen star,

The rising sun,

The blazing tear,

The frozen fire.

First week of holidays started off great as I finally got my hands on the most anticipated video game of the year which was Diablo 3. The storyline of this game was amazing not to mention the gameplay which was exciting as well as exhilarating. Because of this game, I was stuck at home for the good whole week with an occasion friend coming over. In the end, I finished the game on normal difficulty but there was three more levels to go which gets really hard.

During this week, I went out to watch Dark Shadows which was pretty cool as vampires, black magic, and witchcraft are being involved. I usually prefer fantasy stories or movies over any other genre and this movie was no exception. The vampire in this movie who was played by Johnny Depp was great and he was acted in a way that a vampire should act which is merciless and hungry not like in Twilight where the vampires are too kind. Don't get me wrong, I have read the Twilight saga and it isn't really that bad as a romance story eventhough many people disagree but I feel that the storyline was fine but the vampires I feel were a little bit too kind I guess and combat wasn't really focused in that book which was quite the bummer.

This week I also had to do the NiE project by Pizza Hut and The Star. I went to my group leader's house many times to discuss, finalize and gather information on the topic which is "Why English?" our group is aiming for number one which is quite a daunting task but the rewards are great so we are doing our best to make the best entry possible through detailed researching and great artworking. My group has stumbled upon a great poem named "The Chaos" written by Gerard Nolst Trenité in 1922 which I feel is really good for training one's pronunciation.

The first and last stanza:

Dearest creature in creation,

Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse,

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

Hiccough has the sound of sup.....

My advice is : GIVE IT UP!

If you wish to read the full version which is really long visit http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html .

21st ~ 27th May

The destruction mankind wrought,

The revelation that marks a destination,

The one situation as a solution,

The relation of every creation,

The end of civilization.

Though the date says, 21st to 27th May I will regard this journal as for most of May as that was during exams,

Finally, exams have ended. Is what I should have felt, but I just realized as long as we keep living, exams are always around the corner whether it is written or not. We are always being tested in every step of our life and we will forever face trial and tribulations which will test our mettle. I felt neither the relief of my stress nor the happiness which I felt when I finished my PMR just an acceptance of what I have gone through. In a way, this is what causes people to age or in other words to mature, this thinking that removes the child in us.

Anyways, during exams, I have basically chilled knowing that doing last minute studying is not always the best way or so I tell myself. I am not proud to say that this may cost me my grades for midterms but anyways, as usual I will always hope for the worst so as to not be disappointed. 

On the last Friday just before holidays was Teacher's Day. The performances made by students were great overall but I feel that they did not really include every teacher in the school with fairness. To be honest, I really wished a teacher in my school was more accepted by students as of now most students dislike him. His job as a disciplinary teacher leaves him no choice but to catch students who are misbehaving. Him, being ill treated by other students for many many years has probably hardened his heart to not take anymore nonsense from students and thus come about his ill temper. I wish all teachers a Happy Teacher's Day and for this special teacher I pray that he will find more happiness in life lest his gloom dispels all traces of his happiness.

One who seeks in life,

Usually will never find,

But only those who wait.

Assignment

(Sorry I'm late)

Dear Editor,

           As a citizen on Malaysia, I wholeheartedly wish for the best for this country and all of its people and want all to live together in harmony without conflict. Yet, I guess when there are people, there is always conflict. It has come to my knowledge many moons before but only now do I begin to feel the strains of inconsiderate acts of injustice people do in society. Maybe it's because of recent events that have come to pass or just that I could stand it no longer without voicing my opinions.

           To begin with, I believe that people in Malaysian are extremely inconsiderate during driving. People are rushing everywhere and it creates an environment which is apt to create destruction. Road accidents highly contribute to the deaths of many people around Malaysia . You may think that this is just bad luck but imagine if the victims were your family or even maybe yourself. People tend to think that all those bad things we see on television will not happen to us but it is from this naive thinking that wrought about these bad things.

           Besides that, people in Malaysia tend to throw garbage anywhere, anyhow, and anytime they please. This will bring an effect which will cause the image of Malaysia to be soiled as a country of dirt. The detritus thrown away is also harming the environment which will negatively affect the flora and the fauna in our country as well as the people in our country. It is just disgusting how people can just dump their rubbish anywhere without thought for others and it is worse when the item thrown smells.

           Other that that, people who smoke are really inconsiderate at times. I have experienced an unfortunate incidence when it was a wedding at a less modern area when at the table someone started smoking. Acts like this are really inconsiderate towards the non-smokers especially when it is in an enclosed area where the smoke does not escape the air. Luckily, my aunt told the guest off and he went outside to smoke which was a real life saver for me as I cannot stand cigarette smoke for long periods of time.

           To end my letter, I wish to state that as people in our current era with our great advances in technology, we should use that technology wisely whether it be on road or anywhere else. After much research has been done through science or history, we should know better than to do things that will affect other people negatively. All in all, I hope that my thoughts will be heard and taken into consideration during the planning of the advancement of our country.

Sincerely,
Worried citizen

16th ~ 22nd April

The only place I can be myself is in my mind.

The only solace I have,

My very own sanctuary,

The place which I crave,

Hidden from my imagery.

Nowadays, I find that time really flies so fast as though it has just come and gone. Time constraint is such a bad thing I wish that we could have more time for ourselves. I always wonder, why do we have to study so hard, get a good job, bring back loads, and then what? It is quite a static mindset which most people have nowadays. Yet in the end everything we have worked for will not follow us to the beyond. Being rich and all, will it bring happiness? Or will it just bring more misfortune? I know not the answer, even so, I will try to attain my happiness in the daily things that I do. I have been wondering how do people in the past lived. If given the chance, I would like to turn back the clock and observe how we humans lived when there was jungles and deserts and harsh environments abundant. There where time was not as precious as it is nowadays, there where people live and die on every whim not knowing what hit them, there where people can eat whatever they wish and be carefree so long they live. These pleasures of life is what I believe is impossible to do nowadays because of knowledge and the power of our minds which reeks of hypocrisy. The covenant of life is what binds us as we cling on to life so dearly and makes us afraid of the afterlife.

This week, I have yet celebrated another birthday which was my aunt's. Me and my family gathered at her house at about 7p.m. and a large dinner awaited us. The variety of food was pretty large such that it had 'chee cheong fun' down to 'rojak' and many other kinds of food. Me, my cousin and my brother played a drinking game that my cousin found from the website '9gag' which was meant for shots of alcohol. Seeing as we were underage, we drank the lychee and longan drink until our stomachs were bloated with liquid. In the end, we wished a happy birthday to my aunt as she cut the chocolate cake which I regretted not eating due to my full stomach that threatened to throw up every time I moved.

Obliteration

So undignified for some,

Yet simply profound

9th ~ 15th April

The days which seemingly flow away.

Bound by many chains,

Trapped in a desolate cell,

Walls resonating.

I have not much to say this week anyways I shall begin this mundane tale of mine. The rainy days are increasing with great frequency more than ever. Just this week, I was drenched twice on the way to tuition as I walk there. I arrived on the first occasion fully soaked to head to toe and had to survive an air conditioned room for two hours. On the second occasion I was lucky enough to have an umbrella with me that time but nevertheless my lower body that is below my torso was still drenched from the rain. I am happy to say I have not gotten a fever on both occasions and I thank God for that. I really hope that this will not happen again for the following weeks to come.

Besides that, there was a holiday on Wednesday which allowed me time to recuperate from school life as tiring as it is. On Tuesday night, I received a call from a friend of mine to teach him some Chemistry and I agreed to his plan and did so on Wednesday. The study session was held in the morning with four people including me. I left early because I had already allocated some time to go and play badminton with my other friends at the Taman Megah Badminton Court. I had fun for about two hours and ate at the food court with the people who went to the study session ( as they promised to accompany me for lunch). After a filling lunch, I headed home and basically relaxed for the whole day.

As the week comes to a close, my dad planned to take my family to Subang Jaya where his friend from China just opened a food court. It was a celebratory to the opening of the food court and the food was free and we could take as much as we want. The dinner was mostly centered on seafood like big prawns, stingray, fish and shellfish. There were some other stuff we could order like mushrooms and the Japanese crusine 'Teppanyaki'. The beer was flowing freely as well as my father's friends love to drink. The place itself had a great design and it was located in a position which it was cooling to the customers as well. At this point, I wish to end my tale by saying that this week was altogether satisfying but not as productive as well I wished it was. Oh and I would also refrain from posting pictures as time constrains have been growing tighter.

The wish of mine,

Will it be granted?

Or will it fade to dust,

As it is fated.

2nd ~ 8th April

This week nothing extraordinary happened thus this is what I shall do.

The flowing river of angst ,

Running, running so fast,

Quickly, quickly going ahead,

In these time we should use our heads.

For the books of the last year,

And the books of this year,

Wait eagerly for your longing hands,

To open the tightly bands.

Read in the knowledge,

Claim it as your own,

Let the exams be the gauge,

For the seeds you have sown.

Open your mind freely,

Hold on to love,

The hope you cherish dearly,

To the holy dove.

 The words of mine not past hundred,

Forgive my attitude of a laggard,

These words I thus impart,

May be just that very dart,

To rekindle thy open heart.

Hear my cry of woe,
Like the fallen doe,
Listen to thy beating heart,
Leave an imprint, a mark.

The flowering gardens of time,

Wait slowly for their owner,

Which will claim them from the fall,

When He has come to call.

As my last breath is released,

Heed my words if you should,

The heavens will keep the deceased,

Love the ones here as much as you could,

Excellence is not a destination,

Tis journey that only some are in relation,

For the road that lies ahead,

And paths those have laid,

Will soon be taken up,

By those who will take the cup.

26th ~ 1st April

Anger is a poison that will kill you in time.

Expressions that burn overnight,

The flood of fire in my sight,

Will never extinguish,

Everlasting, forevermore.

This week, was a rushed week indeed. The selection of chess MSSD players had to be done just this week. We had not the time to have playoffs for everyone's schedule is busy and there was five of us vying for the spot. Being the president of chess club, I reluctantly gave up my spot for the other four. It was a painful decision I had to make as it was my last year in DJ but nevertheless necessary. My decision came about due to the fact that I realized I have been losing most of my games during club and I would probably bring the whole team down and also I do not wish for discord to occur in my circle of friends which I have been together with since Form 1. So in the end, with a heavy heart, I wish all the best to this year's chess representatives.

Besides that, there was a photo shoot this week during school time on Monday and Tuesday. It was really hectic because people were going in and out of classes and there was a slight confusion as to who is supposed to go out. I am pretty sure there are some individuals who took advantage of this event and used it to skip class. Anyways, I had my picture taken on three separate occasions which include my class photo, the president of chess club, and the athletics chief for Hebat. What irritated me was the chess picture because I was currently doing my science experiment (PEKA) and I had to finish up the report on the day itself and I was quite close to completing my report. I was called out and a long period of time was used to find teacher and other important members of the chess club to have our picture taken. Fortunately, Puan Lim M.L. being my biology teacher allowed me to pass up my report after school which usually in her class was unacceptable. With that, a wave of relief swept through me and I got it done before school ended.

Oh yes, this week I celebrated someone else's birthday which was my friend Wee Han. I went over to his house on Friday after school and remained there until we had to leave for tuition at 5.30. We left the tuition early and headed to One Utama because the movie we booked was at 8.10p.m. and we were afraid of the heavy traffic that could hamper us and cause us to be late. Me and Wee Han were picked up from the tuition by Jun Kit and we soon met Peng Xuan in One Utama. The movie we watched was the Wrath Of The Titans and it wasn't too bad I guess. It was about the Greek Gods dying and they required the help of a demigod Perseus who was Zues' son to save them. Me and Wee Han went home straight after the movie ended and thus concludes Wee Han's birthday. Or so I thought until Wee Han invited me for dinner on Saturday which was his birthday which I agreed to.

The desert so harsh and unforgiving,

The frozen tundra cold and chilling,

The meadows open and loving,

The forests cluttered and whispering.

19th ~ 25th March

Listening is a gift.

Close your eyes to the world,

Open your ears and listen hard,

For the voice of the world,

And the pain it has shared.

This week we got back out results for the exam in which students have partook the week before the holidays. I have talked to those who achieved excellent grades and to those who have not achieved so high and I'll say that the marks they had gotten were vastly apart from each other. Nevertheless, I have been a listener to those willing to spill their grief and a questioner to those who have gotten higher than me. I myself think that what I gotten was average or maybe a tad bit above average and I know I can improve myself. 

I really am starting to despise the subject moral nowadays. To me, I believe that subject is really vague and answers which seem to be right can be wrong. It pains me to say that I only achieved a credit on this subject but oddly I do not feel surprised. Eventhough I have memorized all the moral values and their definitions which are supposed to come out, I did that badly. My mom theorized that the reason I got so low was because my social skills are sub-par and I think I agree as well. 

This close to the end of the week, my cousin celebrated his 14th birthday on Saturday. On his birthday, we only had lunch or so I thought he told me later after the lunch he went karaoke with his friends. His birthday was held in the restaurant TGIF Fridays and friends and family alike were invited to celebrate this event. A sumptuous meal was ordered for everyone which included more than twenty people altogether. After the lunch, I found out that the bill amounted to RM2407 and my jaw figuratively dropped. My aunt I suppose, had to pay this hefty sum. 

The morning sunrise,

Greatly, magnificently,

Illuminating. 

12th ~ 18th March

Time proves to be an excellent teacher.

Tick-tock goes the clock,

Your time will soon be finished,

What have been doing?

This week has been a tiring week for me because for the greater part of this week I have been to CF Camp which lasted for four days and three nights and held annually at different places depending on the head of CF. It was a different experience for me compared to last year which isn't surprising because from what I have heard from many testimonies, each camp has never been the same. The same could not be said for the raw backbone which makes up the camp though. In conclusion however, it was a great experience which I hope will remain in my memory throughout the rest of my life.

In CF Camp, this year, the theme was Imperishable Seed which I think it means that one who is strongly rooted to being a Christian. In another way, I also think that it basically emphasizes on the need for a Christian to know their basics which are vital in being a Christian. This theme I believe was taken up by the CF committee due to the fact that there exist Christians who come to CF only to stop attending after a few meetings because they claim it is a waste of time. It will definitely be boring for those who do not understand what it means to be a Christian. On the other hand, those who know the basics are more likely to hold firm to their beliefs.



The days I spent in CF Camp were short but tiring due to the fact that my sleeping times were late and something in me wakes me up too early. Initially, I had planned to arouse myself from slumber at 5.00am so that I can bath and prepare for morning watch which is at 6.00am which is optional. Due to my weird timing of waking up... I awake from my short sleep at 3.00am and am unable to sleep again until 5.00am. The next day, I woke up at 4.00am but was still an hour before my designated time. On the last night however, I woke at 5.30am which I think is because of my body which was too exhausted from all the activities.

The games prepared for camp which creatively fun and relatively new to me. Some of them were well thought out and were a real challenge to win. There were twelve teams made in this camp and five out of six games you had to challenge other teams by a one on one basis. Needless to say, my team did not do well in these challenges but still, I had a fun time playing the games which were made. On the third day, the last game was held for two and a half hours. It is like a mystery which teams had to work together to find out who was the murderer. Some committee members acted as potential killers and a few as the police so teams had to go around interrogating those villains who wait about at different places of the campsite. All in all, how the committee acted as villains were really realistic and they are apt to go mad at times.

The last thing I would like to talk about is the sessions. Our speaker for our camp was Michael Williams and he was different from what most speakers tend to speak about. I believe that he has a lot of experiences with teenagers and knows how to talk to them. He speaks in a manner which is blunt and even though the words he said could hurt our pride, it was what we really needed to hear and not false lies which will make us feel good. He stated outright that some of the things we do are pointless unless you have a relationship with God. I wish to thank him for opening my eyes as well as many others how to be a better Christian in life.

Things of the past may fade,

The future shrouded in mystery,

So belong in the time which is made,

The present, which will turn into history.

5th ~ 11th March

Classical music is in my opinion the greatest thing made.

Beauty in all forms,

An imagination so vivid,

A blessing for ears,

A medley for every need.

Exams are over now and holidays are here which means MORE SLEEP, is what I wish I could say but unfortunately, the exuberant feeling I have keeps me awake till the wee hours of dawn. During this exam week, I honestly have not prepared as much as the people I know did. Reason is because at home after school, I have been using the computer till night without touching any of my books save for history. I guess if I were to say I do not really deserve this holiday compared to other people but I'd be a  fool if I did not take this holiday.

Something is coming up next week in the holidays which is CF Camp. I will be attending this camp for 4 days and I hope I will be able to come home with something like last year. I have yet to prepare my costume for special night and some appreciation letters I wish to give some people. I feel really emotional now because thinking about it this will be the last CF Camp in DJ which I will ever attend as a camper. I pray that I will be able to make good memories and that it will live on in me for life.

Music. The topic which I really feel like talking about is finally here. From this point on, I will refer everything to music only. I really think that nowadays, music is being made too much by electronic devices and it gives it a sense of being unoriginal. Music played by instruments is by far the best I have heard compared to these day's modern music. 

Another thing I wish to talk about is about rapping. I really, really dislike it because of many reasons. One such reason is that usually when rapping, they 'sing' at really high speed and it makes me hard to hear anything at all. I have inherited an imperfect hearing from my dad and its really hard for me to interpret words speaking really really fast and words through voice enhancing speakers. Besides that, the point that rappers rap the same thing over and over again and that it doesn't even make sense baffles me why they even made it in the first place.

Classical music is something that is really under appreciated in modern society nowadays. Speaking from experience, it is not easy to find an adolescence who loves classical music like me. I have only found a few who really loves them. I prefer music which have no singing rather that with singing which in other words, I prefer music over songs. A thought of mine is that music has the ability to give different feelings even with the same song. From experience, there are pieces of music that can made me cry and laugh with the same tune based on different occasions.

Eventhough I prefer music over songs it doesn't mean I don't enjoy them as well. There are some songs in particular which are beautiful in many aspects. Unfortunately, most current songs being sung nowadays are really bad but somehow they still make it to the best songs. I have really no idea how some songs which literally make no sense can be tops songs. 

One last thing, I noticed that it is possible for people to hate song artists so easily. For example take Justin Beiber, why does so many people hate him? Did he do something to them that affected their lives so drastically? If not, then why all the hate? These questions always run in my head every time someone makes a rude remark about him. The reason I think as to why so many people love to hate is because they who are older, are unable to be as famous as he is even at his young age. Don't get me wrong, I do not support Justin in any way but I do not condemn him either for what he is doing unless if his dream is to be a famous singer then I'll say go for what is life if we don't dream?

Dreams enlightening,

Seemingly impossible,

No! Its possible.

27th February ~ 4th March

The sight of crying stars

Twinkle twinkle little star,

Through the night sky so far,

You lead me towards to eternity,

With a comfort that brings tranquility.

This week, preparation for exams are abuzz and books pop out everywhere in sight. Stress builds up, and minds going crazy again and again. Last minute studying, a common thing that happens in my school and i'm guessing in most other places as well. This would have worked for primary or even lower secondary, but coming to upper secondary it probably does not. This is because Form 4 & 5 students have a larger workload compared to 1,2 and 3 to remember and there is minimal objectives to pick answers from.




It is during these times where I wish I was still small, and listening to this song by The Piano Guys, nostalgia builds up within me as I remember my childhood days where life was much simpler. It reminds me so much when I had so much time and all my primary school friends and most importantly my family. I may sound like an old man I guess but I know that someday everyone will have to leave this world and I think we should cherish what we have before we regret things. Living life to the fullest is what we should do and I will strive to achieve this.

Life is too short for complications,

Life is too short for regrets,

So please do come to this realization,

Love those you have met,

Let go of your troubles,

For in the end they will surely crumble.

Drama

As I see you, there isn't a thing I want to change because you are amazing just the way you are.

Life is a big stage,

And everyone actors,

So just do your best.

Drama, what is it really? Is it a performance made towards the audience for pleasure? In my opinion a drama is something that entertains others and the message has to be clear and well-received in order for the audience to understand what in the world is happening. I have been involved in this particular drama which the theme was entitled 'Environment' and my class' drama was mostly about good versus evil towards the environment. It was the usual bad person who hates the environment and promotes technology whereas the good person is trying to save the environment.

In any case, I was meant to be a tree only but for certain reasons I was promoted to be the main villain whose name was Vladimir. This experience for me was enlightening so to say. I noticed the amount of hard work that certain people have to do and without them the play will not be half as well as it is. Kudos I say to our director, Carmen, our scriptwriter, Sze Yuin, our costume designer, Jiin-May, and lastly our prop designer, Yi Lin. I realize that the most important people in the drama are not the actors but those that are backstage. I wish those people above a big thank you for their help and for the rest of the class for their support.

I have observed for the most part how the drama came into existence though not in specific detail. I have been to the script writing meetings, as well as helped out with the props on one occasion and I have to say that it was more or less productive but at the end of the day, they were splendidly made both script and props and I am proud to say I helped out even if just for a bit. This drama has also been a great bonding experience for me as I come to know more the people in my class through the many many meetings.

During practices however, most of the time it was really disorganized due to people who played about most of the time and those who always come late. It was infuriating for me as you know I do not like wasting time and I feel bad for people who were in charge such as Pn Monica our teacher and our director, Carmen. In other words, practices were usually chaotic and most of the time ruined. Somehow during the last few practices, the people involved showed better behavior and are less destructive and we were able to perfect our roles on the last one. Maybe I assume is because the pressure of the real thing.

On the day itself, my class was as I see giddy with excitement and almost everyone seemed like they  were rushing for something in particular. That day was also the first time I had to put eyeliner. Gosh was it terrible and I have no idea how girls do it so easily. The hardest part was keeping my eyes open and removing it was a pain as well. Anyways I hope I will not have to do it again and moving onward, the actors and those involved were probably nervous I guess and keen to have it over with. It was the final leg of the race and after practicing for a long time we wanted to ascertain our victory or so was what my director and teacher wished.

During acting I was a bit nauseated as usual when I'm nervous but it soon vanished. How? Because when I am acting my spectacles were removed and with my eyesight with a power that is over 500 enabled me to be unable to see anyone clearly. All because of that I thought to myself there is nobody watching and I acted as I did during practice with a tad bit louder voice. By golly, I did not know my voice could reach that level which boomed across the whole hall. Anyways I found out that some people's opinion of me changed whether it is for the worse or the better. Frankly, I did not know how well my class' drama did compared to others because I did not really focus my attention to the rest of the classes and I apologize for that. All in all, this drama to me was productive as it allowed me to grow as well as know more about myself and my capabilities. I found this on the internet which is a short but great phrase "Know thyself" by Socrates.

The world is devoid of emptiness,

A sun that will forever shine,

Like a mother who will caress,

Such is earth's love so divine.